Yup, I’m still here. It’s been a little over 2 months since my last post and I decided it was probably about time I posted, to let you know that I am still here!
Well, my body is just about getting back to normal after the miscarriage. Physically, I’ve had one period, which was about a week late, mentally I’m ok. That the only word I can think of to describe how I am. Just ok. I feel extremely cheated, like everything I had planned out has been stolen away from me. I know it’s silly to think that way, but I just can’t help it. I keep thinking how this Christmas, we would have had our little baby with us, but no, that little dream has been stolen.
My best friend (you may remember, I told you she lost her 5 month old daughter on New Year’s Eve) is pregnant again. I’m so happy for her, some may say its too soon, but I totally understand her urge to have a child. But I’ll be honest, it hurts like hell. Her sister in law also just announced she was pregnant and I cried and cried. Why can’t it be me?
As far as baby making is concerned, another round of IVF just has to go on the back burner for now. I’ve just been offered a new job which I’m really excited about, plus we really need to sort out selling our house. Now just isn’t the right time to be starting treatment again, despite every fibre in me screaming “do it now!”
So all in all, I’m just plodding along, all the while hearing my body clock ticking louder every single day.